Dear God, wait, I’m not sure I believe that.
Dear Universe, ummm… well, how can the planets and stars and a black sky hear me? I don’t know if I believe that either.
Dear Source energy, nahhh… I don’t even know what that means. Source? Isn’t that a store?
Dear Mother Earth… forget it, I haven’t talked to my mother in years. I don’t dear mother anything.
Dear Lord, Lord of the Dance, Lord of Flies, Lord of the Rings – clearly that’s not going to work either.
Dear Dear Dear Dear….
Dear me.
Yes, Dear me.
Dear me.
Dear Me with a capital M,
Are you there? I need to know that you’re with me today because I feel really alone. I can’t find my willpower. I can’t reach my strength. My tank is empty and my courage has leaked out all over the floor. Tonight I am sitting on this stool watching the seconds tick tick tick tick tick and the painful passage of time is messing with me. I need a miracle in my life. I can’t remember the last time I heard you, felt you or believed in you. I don’t trust anymore, but I want to. I truly do. Do you believe me?
Dear me, even if you aren’t God, or maybe you are, I don’t know, and you know what? I don’t really care right now. Dear me, you are all I got.
When you’re deep in recovery it can feel intensely lonely, desolate almost. Here are a few thoughts or mantras you can use to help reconnect you to that place called “home” inside of you.
Today and always I am here for myself.
Today I choose to peacefully heal the pain that has been my life.
Each and every day my ability to trust myself gets stronger and stronger.
Today I am not fooled by fear, instead I move forward in trust.
I am loved, I am cherished, and I matter.
I am safe today and always.
I am not my past. I am not my future. I am today. Today I am home.
While it is true that we come into the world alone and we also leave that way, every moment we breathe and see and feel and connect is proof that loneliness is merely an illusion. Our concept of God (or not) is a deeply personal one. According to the bible, “ask and it is given,” and so “speak and it is heard”, though not found in the bible, also holds true.
Recovery takes faith in something. Dear Me, perhaps it’s time to take a deep breath of belief in yourself.