What about me?
It’s all about me
Look at me!
We all have an auto-pilot me-statement that governs our unconscious moments. You know, the choices we make without thinking? Those moments. Which one is pretty close to your auto-pilot life-driver? Do you have better one that describes you? Here’s a hint, your me-statement usually shows up when you’re feeling exposed. Now that you’re in recovery, you are going to have many moments like this, and it’s good to know which one you like to hide out in.
I’ll let you in on my me-statement. I’m an “It’s all about me”. When I feel exposed, I turn on my charm. I become more animated than usual. I compensate for my lack of confidence by blinding you with my personal spotlight. While it can be an effective short term cover, it’s important to remember that this little, but powerful me-statement will always put me (as in me and you) in the victim’s chair.
Me Me Me Me Me can be empowering when the Me transforms into an I on the other side of a challenge like: I did this: one year of sobriety, or I did this: 4 weeks clean. There is power in our I statements and there can be a cost to our me ones. When we hide out in our me-statements, sure we might gain a little bit of courage or chutzpah, but the root will always be the position of a victim, as in please rescue me.
Guess what? You don’t need a white knight or a Wonderwoman, what you need is a hand up. We’ll help you with that.
Want to get to know your “me”? Consider these questions:
This one takes some courage so… breathe and breathe again. Let’s see if you can let this in: What have other people said about you since you can remember? E.G. I have been “it’s all about me” my entire life and people have always told me so (and not always in kind ways). Once I decided to own it, I could see the difference between when I’m hiding, and when I’m actually engaged in the joy of connecting with people.
What traumatic events in your life (think early) have stopped you in your tracks and pushed you in a whole new painful direction? E.G. Your mother dies and you feel ‘left’. Your broken heart cries out “What about me?”
What position or perspective to you seem to take most often? Blame – “You did this to me”. Defend – “It wasn’t me”. Justify – “You can count on me”. Vague – “Who me?” – think of what other ‘me’ statement might fit.
What do you yearn for? What is that primal need that you always seem to come back to? E.G. No one ever hears me! I just want someone to hear me = “Listen to me”.
There is power in identifying your me-statement. In recovery we are waking up to a healthier self. We become more self-aware. We begin to accept the darker corners of our life and our habits. We also are given a beautiful opportunity to invite humour into our life. When we can name our “Me”, we can also laugh at ourselves when we start hiding out there.
Here’s to your most transformative you, me and I.